How I wished I was Anthony Bourdain.

22 Oct

Can a man get sexxier than this? I think not.

This man is one lucky son of a bitch. I would kill to have his career as a wandering foodie, in search for the most delicious, most bizarre and the most disgusting food around the globe and explain their anthropological existence and their place in their respective country’s cuisine.

I’ve remembered No Reservations since my high school days, where I would sit in front of the television and eat my swiss chalet in shame while Anthony eats a live cobra heart in Vietnam, and all I would think, is damn, I wished I could be him.

I mean who wouldnt want to be him? He’s perfect in my brown eyes. He’s sarcastic, articulate, clever as hell and has traveled all over the world eating a lot of things that we would never encounter in the West.  It fascinates me how he has managed to put together a beautiful exploration and explanation of how cultures approach their cuisine.  Food is bliss, is medicine, is pleasure, is heart, is sustenance, is bold, is character driven, is an infinite medley of things, reasons and beliefs.

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30 Day meditation

12 Sep

It’s strange how people come at you at the right moment. I have always been a skeptic when it comes to fate and coincidences, but at this point, I am starting to believe that skepticism doesnt serve me when it comes to spiritual matters. As much as I try to deny the existence of spiritual energies, I can’t help but feel that there is some truths to it. Is it because I am in a point of desperation where I am seeking a spiritual path as a last resort?

I have to be honest, as a yoga instructor, I am awful when it comes to the whole energy/spirit.soul stuff. My asana practice had always been scientific, anatomical and therapeutic. I’ve never worked with energies and stuff of that kind simply because I did not believe in it. I do live an authentic self as a yoga instructor, I’ve never put on a pretension that I am some spiritual guru, nor will I ever intend on doing that when I eventually go on a spiritual path.I simply taught because I enjoyed guiding people to change their bodies, their perceptions of what they can and cant do, and changing their moods as they move through each pose. It was all science to me, the breath, the muscles you use, the contractions and extension happening beneath the skin. I enjoyed movement.

So, what is the sudden shift to spirituality? Let me start off by saying this, I have a prejudice against spiritual people. This has to do with the fact that I am a huge fan of Existentialism and I am a Nietzschean. It’s not the whole sheep mentality. What I have the problem with is this whole thing where people deny their actions of their own free will and blaming some version of a Higher Being for driving them into their paths. I find lost souls turn to spirituality. I am slowly biting my own words now that I am starting to see some connection to a spiritual path. Mainly because I am completely lost. And after a whole series of circumstances that has occurred on my path, I think it’s time to stop denying it and embrace it. Im still a Nietzschean, but my rational can compromise.

I’ve recently had a long chat with a friend of mine. I only sought her out to ask her a couple of questions regarding the Angels. I’ve been told by a friend that Archangel Gabriel had been on my side. Freaky coincidence since it was a day after I started this blog and the significance of this Angel is it represented communication and creativity. But I digress, the point was, she sensed my misery and knew that my energy was out of sorts. I started to read up on a the chakras (apparently 4/7 of my chakras are completely out of balance). Perhaps that had contributed to my feelings of inadequacy and my continual umemployment.

 

At this point,  I am willing to give this a go. She told me to start meditating to balance my chakras. I’ll take her word for it and commit to this for 30 days, twice each day for 10-15 minutes each. I’ll be using some chakra balancing guided meditation provided free thanks to youtube and document my changes. An experiment, a cry for help, and a longing to determine my own purpose in this earthly existence. Wish me well.

First Official Post: Life of a single twenty-something.

7 Sep

I will openly admit, as a current 23 year old girl teaching yoga at various locations around the York region area, you would think I would get a lot of action, right? I mean, I’m not a repulsive individual. I won’t bore you to tears, I’ve been told that I am quite intelligent and heck, I can be funny…even aggressively so. And yet, here I am, single as they come. It recently becomes a troubling aspect for my parents. How is it, that all four daughters have boyfriends all except for one: me? 

Why is it that being a young, single girl such a big deal? Does that make me an unappealing character?I mean, I don’t choose to be single, I tend to have specific preferences. Or so I would like to believe. In all honesty, I am in denial, and I am masking this under the pretense that I am shallow and have specific preferences. The truth is, I know there are some deep seeded insecurities that should be addressed. And, with recent feelings of longing for companionship, perhaps the Universe is telling me to shut these demons up and get on with it. 

I do have bouts of questioning whether or not I am adequate enough to deserve someone. I make the mistake of constantly feeling unworthy. Im not depressed by any means, it is simply that I have no clue what the hell I am aiming for right now.  And whenever I do feel valued by someone I care about, I get scared. Why? It’s the let down, it’s the scary feeling that I’ll eventually lose this person because I don’t deserve him. There are many times when I meet someone and I think, my god, I would love for him to be mine. But as soon as I acknowledge this fact, I simply distance myself from the individual of interest. And every time I look back on these moments, I still feel a tinge of regret. Why are we so afraid of making a fool of ourselves?

You would think of a few years doing yoga would help me shift my perspective on life. To be more accepting, loving of myself. But what can I say? I’ve always been a late bloomer. It’s a journey, I am still taking my first baby steps into true adulthood. I’m still formulating my own opinions on many things, my own daring mindset. I’m still working on being less indecisive!

I think its time for a perspective change. So my goal is this for the next few years: To become more fearless in life and in love. 

 

To quote the Glass Man from Amelie, “You don’t have bones of glass. You can take life’s knocks. If you let this chance pass, eventually, your heart will become as dry and brittle as my skeleton. So, go get him, for Pete’s sake! “.

An Introduction

7 Sep

Why would I invest time in this blog? Well I’m a bored twenty-something girl trying to figure out my life. I will consider this as an online diary since the written word is becoming a depleting talent for mass techno-savvies like us ( my excuse is saving some trees, and saving the trouble of having my private thoughts found by people I know). Consider this my documented journey, in hopes that when I look back on this, I will laugh, cry and be grateful for what I have gone through in order to become the greatest individual I am born to be. Image